Except that the worst of it is over. Appraiser came today, told my realtor “Oh hell yeah, this place is worth what they’re paying, no doubt!” Yaaay. The buyers wanted some credits for a few things, it seriously pisses me off, but really it’s a drop in the bucket. I can’t wait until it’s really all over, it’s so stressful, worrying about if for some reason it doesn’t happen. But at the same time, I don’t want to move. I like my home. But it’s too far from school. And I need the money to pay for school. Not for shoes, dammit! It’s been rough, I’ve been battling that empty feeling. Coupled with an “OMG, there’s no land beneath my feet, I’ve had the earth pulled out from under me!” feeling. So I’ve been craving Barneys. I have this shiny black card and if I pay with it, I get to pay 21% extra for shit I really don’t need and feel like a complete patsy for doing so. It’s a card I got in a moment of Shoephoria. It was worth it (because I paid before the end of the month), but I’m glad I haven’t used it again.
Been working. Keeps me out of trouble. But it’s really boring. Got a little bit more interesting today, but I still want to do something else. Not sure what, besides buy shit I don’t need, can’t afford, and will have to schlep 2500 miles. Almost played hooky every day this week, esp. today. But couldn’t think of anything better to do except get in the way when the appraiser would come over, and well, I knew that would be a bad idea. A friend said he might join me for the road trip, that’ll be nice.
Got some totally hot guy calling me up and wanting to hang out, but I’m so not in the mood. I realized tonight, while thinking about it, that I don’t fall for individuals based on their own unique qualites so much as I fall for their potential. Does this guy seem like someone I’d want to spend the rest of my life with? Does he seem like he’d want to spend the rest of his life with me? OK, so in reality, those ones scare me. But I’m not even attracted to the players anymore. And I’m always so quick to find fault. I’m officially old. I think this time, I’ve lost my libido for good. We’ll see what happens when I’m at a school with a basketball stadium right next to my department’s building…Cuz it always comes back to height. Maybe the nasty tagging habit would be less offensive if he were a lot taller?