reasons to get up in the morning

Well, back in North Carolina, I thought my sleeping habit was primarily caused by my ridiculously comfortable Tempurpedic bed. That was a part of it, but here I am sleeping on (what feels like) bare springs, and still unwilling to get out of bed in the AM, even after a good night’s sleep. That will change tonight, as my memory foam topper has arrived and I am going to pick it up today! Here, I’m also eating sugar again (it’s damn near impossible to avoid), so that contributes to the problem. You would think I’d spring from the bed, eager for another day of relentless exploration of this great city. But I don’t. This morning I dragged my computer into bed, hoping Telsey (the only unlocked wifi in the area) would come through again. But she didn’t. So I cleaned out my inbox, something that sorely needed to get done. In doing so, I came across a form letter from BCG, a consulting firm I’d applied to for an internship. It was "personally" inviting me to attend their on-campus recruiting events. I recall ignoring it because it was a form letter, and figured I didn’t need to go since I wasn’t thinking about consulting anymore anyway. At least not that kind of consulting. 

But it got me in kind of a funk, on top of the extremely vivid dream I had of meeting Greg Mortenson and telling him he’d given me the courage to go ahead and start my own company. So I had this dream I was in this Italian specialty deli here in Barcelona, and trying to pick out some food, and it was a problem. It was crowded, they didn’t have exactly what I wanted, and I didn’t want to wait in any lines. Nothing unusual there. What was unusual was that Greg’s assistant was with me, and complaining about how Greg was outside chewing gum again, and she kept trying to get him to chew tobacco instead (don’t forget, I live in one of the smokin’est cities in the world. it’s disgusting). So I went outside to say hi, and told him how I’d been reading "Three Cups of Tea" and it has inspired me so much, getting me out of the fear of starting my own business. Which wasn’t something I’d been aware of before this dream, but I guess it has. In conjunction with other factors…

See, the thing is, I have this crippling fear of rejection. I have avoided dropping resumes on a number of jobs because I applied to their internship programs and was rejected, so I really don’t see why I should go back for more. Hence, my having ignored BCG’s bit of promotional material. So I had this great summer internship, and a few more sememsters of top-notch education. But I’m still me, so I don’t see how the experiences of the past year will change someone’s mind about me. I haven’t even been dropping resumes with new jobs I’m thinking about, because I simply abhor putting myself on the auction block only to be shot down. This isn’t some product, project or business I’m trying to sell to people, it’s me. So it’s personal.

In any case, I wrote up this job description for myself in response to the numerous job postings that interested me, but seemed to be looking for someone specifically not like me. It was so disheartening. And because someone I admire mentioned that her current employer asked her to write her own job description, and because I don’t have a pat answer when my career counselor asks me "what is your dream job?"

My dream job is this, as far as I know:

Recent graduate of one of the top MBA programs in both sustainability and entrepreneurship with 14 years of experience in apparel product development seeks ideal position. Job should be based in downtown Los Angeles, with 10-30% travel to interesting, exotic locales. Company should be exciting, glamorous, dynamic, and interested in becoming more environmentally and socially responsible, and willing to actually change. Coworkers are a scintillating bunch of hardworking smarty pants who don’t take themselves too seriously and love what they do.

Duties include: researching and analyzing fascinating industries, market data, and customer insights, networking, brainstorming & working with an awesome team, preparing and conducting presentations, developing new products, teaching people who are willing to learn, asking the hard questions, providing an alternative POV, working on multiple projects/tasks throughout the day, and having fun with coworkers while doing all this.

Where I am:


  1. for the past week or so i’ve been sleeping on a hardwood floor (with a defunct airmattress & a feather bed topper. I just got delivery of my new bed and i’m drooling at the idea of sleeping on my memory foam!
    anyway, my real response is: practice sending resumes to companies you don’t really care about. not to waste their time but to give yourself the practice to hone your resume/reply/interview skills. Plus, you never know – maybe on one of those not-so-perfect email/ phone interviews you get revelation that is important. Or maybe you find a perfect job you weren’t aware of.
    The job I have now I was terrified to apply for because I was scared of losing it. I ended up applying for several jobs that were ‘sort-of’ perfect because I wasn’t ready to lose what I really wanted… by fumbling my way through those applications/ interviews in quick succession, when i did get the call from this company i was much better prepared with what I wanted & what I didn’t. Not only that I was much more relaxed so it wasn’t so nerve wracking.
    πŸ™‚ good luck


    • I always blow the first interview when I go back on the job market every few years.
      So I try to apply to a job I don’t really want first, just to get up to speed.


    • Thanks! I am motivated now! Because rewards are the most effective way to get anything done, I am not allowed to buy a motorcycle until I drop 20 resumes. I’ve done 2 so far, the ones I did before I made this deal with myself don’t count. πŸ™‚


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